Comments on: Call me Joe … just Joe

By: karinmk123

karinmk123 — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 02:09:39 +0000

I grew up in a very conservative old school European household. Names and formality were drilled into me from early childhood. Adults were always Mr. & Mrs., and everyone had a title of some sort. Neighbours wanted me to call them by their first names and I simply could not, but now that I am older, I refer to my mother’s old friends by their first names.
I am extremely uncomfortable when I am referred to as Mrs. or Ms. And please don’t get me started about ma’am. Nothing worse than being accosted in a clothing store by a sales clerk in her/his late teens/early 20s and hearing “Can I help you with something, ma’am?” Just makes me cringe. Anyway, Joe realized that you beautiful wife gave birth to your beautiful baby boy. Congratulations my friend! You sir, will have to get used to a new title – Daddy.
Shameless plug – will somebody read my blog? PRattle On – finally have a post. Karin

By: Crystal Moss

Crystal Moss — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 16:09:30 +0000

Great post Joe! You can call me Crystal.

By: Joe Chawla

Joe Chawla — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 03:00:05 +0000

Hi Megan, thanks for the comment! I agree with you. I think a lot of our attitudes towards formality are determined because of context specific situations.

However, like I commented to Kristen, I still think its hard to break old habits, especially those from our youth. Which means, for me, I end up using formal references over casual ones in most situations.

That said, though, I am willing to bet more people would prefer me calling them Mr. or Mrs., rather than plopping big wet smooches on them in place of a hello!

By: Joe Chawla

Joe Chawla — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 02:53:15 +0000

Hi Kristen, thanks for the comment! You’re right, I think it really demonstrates the down-to-earth nature of someone when they can look past traditional roles and treat another person like an equal.

Martin Waxman has years of experience on us; he is pretty well known across this city for his work in PR; and he knows that in just a few short months we are probably going to flood his office with resumes and cover letters.

Still, he did his best to make us feel like individuals and not like we were addressing our future boss (even if some of us might eventually work for him.) That definitely earned my respect!

By: Paul Jenkins

Paul Jenkins — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 21:45:10 +0000

There is definitely a time and place for titles. When I taught English in Korea I was called Paul teacher. Poor English aside, this was a natural way for my students to refer to me – it was the same way they referred to their Korean teachers. It showed a sign of respect for the teaching profession and me.
I next taught grade two in Sarajevo, where I was called Mr. Jenkins. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Sure it made me feel old, but there are certain roles that society (even a European dominated ex-pat society in Bosnia) expects one to play. I quickly got used to the title as did my students. The first thing they were required to say when they entered class was, “Good morning, Mr. Jenkins” and when they left at the end of the day, “Have a good day, Mr. Jenkins.” It provided structure to our classroom and defined what was expected from our relationships.
I like the use of titles, but will call anyone what they want me to – within reason. I am still reluctant to refer to my parents’ friends by their first names because I grew up using titles when speaking with them.
My long ramble aside. Good post, Joe.

By: ramsayramsay

ramsayramsay — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 04:35:43 +0000

I agree with you Joe and I always preferred to be called Megan, and with friends prefer just Meg or Megs.
When it comes to others, especially people with authority, I always play it safe and use the formality of Mr. or Ms.
Tonight however was a social gathering among PR folk call Thirsty Thursday and there was no formality in place. Everyone just used first names regardless of whether they were professional or student. To be honest, I almost like things better that way. I’m a pretty casual person.
But it seriously depends on context, especially during introductions. I think we should adopt the European way of doing things and greet each other with kisses. I don’t know if that is formal or informal though…?

By: Kristen Zemlak

Kristen Zemlak — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 02:20:07 +0000

Joe — I find your post very interesting. Especially your reference to meeting Martin Waxman. I had the exact same experience when I met him, and it also had a great impact on me. I think the exchange resonated because we have such high regard for him as a PR professional, and when he showed us that he respected us too, it demonstrated his humble and down to earth character. Often confused, and sometimes mistaken, Until told otherwise, I also err on the side of Mr. or Mrs. In fact, after our class with Martin Waxman, I e-mailed him to volunteer for the Canada Blooms opportunity. I addressed my e-mail to Mr.Waxman.

By: Joe Chawla

Joe Chawla — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 02:15:05 +0000

Hi Rick,

Thanks for the comment! I agree with you. The traditional boundaries between adulthood and youth have blurred and so has the perception that one group is deserving of more respect than another.

Having grown up in a pretty strict culture, however, I find it more difficult to discard these norms. That said, I think it still is pretty common nowadays for people to revert to using Mr./Mrs. as a “safety blanket.”

The respect that goes along with it, though, may not be inherent in the designation.

In the end, I think even with an egalitarian society like Canada’s, getting the inside perspective of what is expected, from those who are used to dealing with subordinates, could be immensely useful!

By: Rick Weiss

Rick Weiss — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 01:56:52 +0000

Canada has a pretty egalitarian culture, so I think that it’s becoming less common to call people Mr./Ms. as a sign of respect and showing respect through other behaviours. It’s easy to feign respect through a title; being respectful is another thing completely and I think extremely important. I think that the use of the title Mr./Ms. is just losing it’s meaning as our culture becomes more egalitarian.